This is a place to vent my road rage concerning the FREAKY stuff that some drivers in the greater metropolitan Saskatoon area pull. It is specific to Saskatoon but I'm sure that the same stuff goes on everywhere else (see the links below). While driving in Ontario last summer I witnessed two accidents caused by dumb-ass stuff. Don't tell me that Saskatchewan drivers are any worse than anywhere else. I don't believe it.

First, let me say that, as far as I am able, I obey the traffic laws. I don't drive above the speed limit even though it seems that most people believe that it's ok to go 10 k above the limit. It isn't. I got pulled over one night in my wild youth on the highway for passing someone who was going at the posted limit. The reason: In order to pass them I had to go faster than them which means I was going a bit above the limit. It's not OK!. If you think it is then I dare you to drive past a police car faster than the speed limit.

I make my left turns into the proper lane before switching lanes, I stop at cross walks for people, I don't cross the solid lines on the road (more on this later), I don't go through yellow lights whenever possible etc.

What I'd really love to do is prowl with a video camera and get some choice shots for you but it's probably illegal to post that stuff on the web. If I ever find out that it is legal watch out!!

Here goes:

When I go to work in the morning I travel north on Central Avenue to Attridge Road and turn left there. There are two turning lanes that lead into two lanes on Attridge. I keep to the right because I know that ultimately I will have to be in the right lane in order to turn into the university campus (unless I want cut people off). Lots of folks switch into the left turning lane and make the turn into the left lane of Attridge and then switch back to the right lane and exit off of Attridge onto Circle north. Huh? Why do a double lane switch? I thought about this for a bit and the obvious answers are a) they're dumb b) they're in a hurry. I go for the second because mostly they're doing 80k in a 70k zone when they switch back (and cut me off in the process).

I think the 'in a hurry' answer applies to a lot of dumb and irritating stuff that folks do. Slow down. Enjoy the ride to work. You'll be there soon enough. There's no place in Saskatoon that is more than 20-25 minutes from anywhere else.

When I travel along Attridge to work, one of the feeder streets runs behind the new WalMart (the old north end of Preston). Almost invariably someone will pull out just in front of me so that I have jam on the brakes. The 'in a hurry' arguement seems to apply here as well.

Leaving the campus via the campus drive exit opposite the field house. Same freaky behaviour as at Attridge. There are two turning lanes and invariably someone will turn in the left lane and immediately switch to the right lane in order to turn right on Preston southbound, cutting me off in the process. DUMBASS!! If you're going to be turning right onto Preston, the proper thing to do is be in the right turning lane to start with.

Approaching a pedestrian crosswalk you stop if there is a person crossing or about to cross. You don't a) zip through ('in a hurry') b) go around a car that is stopped for the pedestrian (again 'in a hurry', can't wait).

On Circle Drive there are several exits. The proper procedure to exit is to get into the right hand lane well in advance of the exit and then signal your way into the exit. The wrong way to exit is to suddenly decide, while driving in the left lane, that your exit is 15 feet ahead and veer to the right, directly in front of me. What gives you the right to do such dumbass stuff and put me and my family in danger? This stuff I report to the police.

On Circle Drive there are several entrances, each of which is an acceleration lane. Acceleration means increasing your speed until you have matched the speed of the traffic on the road you want to enter. In turn the cars on Circle are supposed to let you in (although every once in a while a dumbass comes along), since your acceleration lane disappears. You don't STOP and wait for traffic to clear. What an ungodly dumbass thing to do!! Yet occasionally someone does just this. I figure that these folks are afraid to drive. Fair enough but if you can't stand the heat stay out of the kitchen. Don't drive if you're afraid to. Take the bus or a taxi. Otherwise you will cause an accident for sure.

On the subject of acceleration ramps, there are usually some pretty white lines drawn on the road to amuse you while you're speeding up ... NOT! If you go back to your learner's handbook one of the very first things that it tells you is not to cross the solid lines. Yet, this is what loads of people do on the Attridge to Circle northbound acceleration ramp. Its a long one, maybe 3000 ft. Plenty of room for acceleration. You can see someone in the picture here crossing the lines (ie 'in a hurry'). Dumbass.

Turning left off of College eastbound onto Preston northbound. Here you are turning from a single turning lane into a double lane road. The proper way is to turn into the left lane and then signal your way into the right lane. I frequently see someone behind me turn into the right lane and then floor it ('in a hurry'). When more than one car does this behind me its pretty hard to switch to the right lane if you need to. Dumbasses.

Turning right off of Preston southbound to College westbound (same intersection). East of Preston, College is two lanes. West of Preston, College is three lanes. The right lane of College east of Preston becomes the middle lane of College west of Preston and the right lane of College west of Preston is a new lane! There's no stop or yield sign there! There is a sign like this:

Going home from work, I essentially go back the way I came, along Preston to Attridge and then down Central. At the lights at Preston Crossing the two lane road widens to three lanes with the extra lane at the right. This is no doubt to provide right-turn access to the big box stores and to let people get up to the Circle southbound access ramp. Some folks have perverted this intention in order to get a few cars ahead and home sooner ('in a hurry'). What they do is get into the right lane and when the light changes to green, take off like a bat out of hell and switch to the left lane, well ahead of where they would have been had they stayed in line. It occurs to me that if, instead of being in a car in line, they had been in a line for a movie they might well have lights punched out. Although not illegal, it is pretty grossly discourteous to the other drivers that wait their turn. There's no need to be in a hurry in Saskatoon (unless you're headed to the hospital).

At night it seems that lots of dumbasses drive with their high beams on just to annoy me. There must be a secret GPS tracker on my car so that people know when I'm coming and can fire up their high beams to blind me. From the Saskatchewan Driver's Handbook:

"You must keep your headlights on low beam within 100 m and keep any spotlights or auxiliary driving lights turned off within 500m when you are following another vehicle"

Every time I go through Canadian Tire and see the display of 100000 candle power lights I think "hmmm ....". One of these days I'll return the high beam favour several thousand fold. What goes around comes around. Same goes for people with halogen fog lights mounted on their bumpers.

Last but not least, if you're 80+ years old sell your car and use the money to either ride the bus or take a taxi. Some old folks seem to be begging to be put out of their misery. I once spotted a car ahead of me on Attridge eastbound going over the Circle overpass behaving erratically. Suddenly it STOPPED (all the while there are other cars in 'in a hurry' mode all around it) and then turned left towards the Circle north exit, cutting off someone beside me and very nearly causing what would have surely been at least a three car pileup (including me). It was an old lady ... couldn't make up her mind what she was doing. Now I respect my elders and all, but this was just a plain, ordinary dumbass thing to do!

Whew!! That felt good!

Here are some links to some other nice dumbass pages:
http://members.aol.com/CongressDJ/dumbdrivers.html
http://highwaypageofshame.blogspot.com/
http://jamoker.wordpress.com/2005/10/19/crazy-drivers/